1. PublicallyGirlish
  2. Introduce yourself!
  3. Friday, January 06 2017, 06:31 PM
Hello I am Steffie or Stephanie, Steven if were being truthful. I guess I am here because I am...or have been in denial about this. For the longest time I read stories, or get captions, or join chat rooms. I grew up strict fundamental baptist, and have also been in the military between those things i just...struggle to be honest with what I want. I am the person at a party who won't drink because others to have fun and be safe. I am the type of person who can be struggling with money problems and would still help someone else out. I am not saying those for praise, I am saying that because who I wanted to be is always just...shut down because that's not who everyone else needed.

I'm married, which is great I love her with every ounce of my being and she and I met, became friends and had similar loves in both gaming, views on the world and most importantly each other. Initially she was very supportive of this side of myself, but were both switches in submission versus dominant, and I dunno were both very very submissive as it turns out. So I act more dominant, I want to make her happy and I have talked to her, it's just what was once open support is now reserved hesitation. She used to volunteer to have a dress up day, now she's been hesitant to even bring one up. Her reasons are what if we have a kid, or what if someone found it out, or how could that effect your job. Also my age is coming up since I'm 30 now. So my anchor has been unmoored.

I'm not trying to say life sucks, just I can't seem to get ahead, and this side of me seems to get relegated to the back side. So I'm here and I'm not hiding it from her, honestly she just seems glad I'm not pestering her. So I don't know how much I'll post pictures or story wise. I just want to talk to others so that this side doesn't fade away.

-End Rant-
Sorry for the heavy introduction, just had to get it off my chest.
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It is hard. Focus on seeing yourself how you like when you can. Even if it's 5 minutes in the mirror all about you. I'm married with kids and not attracted to men but I got adirty C0ck fetish that drives me to dress and be bad. So I'm heterosexual 95% of the time and a sissy slut 5%. Very contradictory.
  1. Kristy6
  2. 6 months ago
Thanks for the advice, in all honesty i want it in my life, but i have responsibilities so how do I maintain the balance, without going mental?
  1. PublicallyGirlish
  2. 6 months ago
I'm like Kristy6 - I'm married over 20 years. I'm masculine in my everyday life. But once every three weeks or so I need to retreat into a place that no one can know about. I dress up like a girl and play alone or sometimes meet another man to play. I had beat myself up about it for many many years until I am now just tired of beating myself up. And I'm learning this is just a part of me that I keep to myself, a refuge. It centers me, teaches me humility, reminds me that real relationships are complex, and require lots of attention and compromise, and I work hard at my marriage and have grown alot with her. The things I do alone, or secretly, are simple and pure. Very much like playtime. I'm even starting to take some pride it it - I've blown some older married men and made them feel desired, powerful, and happy.
I'm slowly figuring out WHY I do it - maybe it's the distance of my own father, or my mother's scorn of him and all the ways he disappointed her. Maybe I pity him and work hard to make 'fatherly' men happy now by giving them amazing, devoted, passionate blowjobs.
But moving past the WHY will come with time. For now, being a sissy is a wonderful comfort in the face of an overwhelming relationship, career, and role in the world. Some men retreat into sports on tv or on the golf course, some men have a woodshop. And some of us need to dress in lacy panties and get on our knees and please a dominant man. It's your retreat. Learn to enjoy it! I like looking back on the 22 blowjobs I've given with pride of knowing each man had a huge orgasm and felt like he was king for a day. I love thinking back on that.
  1. Sissyjill
  2. 6 months ago
Stephanie, i am very similar (except i did not embrace this until last year...i am 54). Perhaps what i've done will suit you? I am "me" (happily a biological male) by day and I am ALL "Lacey" in the bedroom. It is a very difficult and emotional battle when the 2 personalities have no defined lines/purpose/boundaries. I am a man to the world and am very content with that. However, LACEY IS MY SEXUALITY. Lacey is a gorgeous, soft, submissive and extremely sexual being. She loves all things sexual. Lingerie, rolling around on the soft cotton sheets in bed, taking naughty salacious pics of herself and posting them to enticing and excite real men. Lacey is the sexuality "I" could never be as "me"...i'm too conservative and self conscious. As for "me" I work hard have fun with friends and my family. But Lacey is my personally pride and joy...she is always there for me to take away to stress and pain outside that bedroom door. Maybe Stephanie is there for you? Oh yea, be careful. If Stephanie turns out anything like Lacey your next posting here will be "what do i do...Stephanie wants to be seduced by a man (these gurls are powerfully horny...and we can attract men better than biological girls...love and kissez
  1. Lacey-Sjorgen
  2. 6 months ago
If you guys are in love with each other just expand your relationship and make it more exciting. Perhaps bring in a male partner that becomes your wife's part time lover and a dominant personality in your relationship. Accepting that she can have affairs and you can't is the ulitmate act of submission.
  1. Chrissiethesissy
  2. 5 months ago
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Jayneicejjass Accepted Answer Pending Moderation
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*Hugs* Sorry you have to go through that hun. I too am married so I feel your pain. I also want to commend you for your bravery in telling your wife. I keep this side of me away from my wife because I know how she would react. I dont have as much time away from my wife as I would like to explore this side of me, but I usually have one off day a week that I can be free to do any and all things sissy besides try to and take a real cock. Even if you could just find a way to do that it may help. It does suck but any little way could be helpful
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  1. more than a month ago
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CandiceMarie Accepted Answer Pending Moderation
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Sounds like you are somebody who is a giving person. You aren't asking for much here. You would like to be able to indulge your feminine side with your wife on occasion without her being worried that you are trying to take her place in the relationship. It's just something you'd like to do from time to time, a bonus being situations where she initiated it. It's a tough spot. Sounds like she was interested a little bit and not so much now.

Her worries don't have to be worries. What's everybody else going to think? You're at home. Are they looking in your window? Unless you are dressed fully out there, they won't know. Children? Well, you don't dress around the children. It's not like that is an issue that can't be overcome from time to time. 30 years old? Not that it matters, but that's not old. We have sissies in their 70's prancing around fully dressed up too, and I say, "You go girl!"

Of all the things I ever talk about here on Sissy Social, this is the type of situation I wish I could provide the answer to. I'm still searching. At some point and time, there will be a moment when you two are having an open conversation which would be perfect to talk about such things. Clearly, this is your fantasy. What's hers? What I mean by that is if you can find out what she fantasizes about and make that happen for her, it could open the door. The problem is we sometimes have a difficult time talking about such things.

Even when it comes up and it's an obvious green light, we sabotage ourselves. I recently saw a sissy mention how she desired to wear panties and wanted her girlfriend to let her do it. Well, a dream come true for many sissies happened. The girlfriend offered the sissy to wear a pair of her panties. I mean, she got into it too. She said she would wear a pair of boxers, sort of a role reversal. She said it wouldn't be a problem. The sissy was turned on by it, but refused.

Why? The sissy would have been too aroused in the panties and was ashamed of that. Really? So, what? You dress in panties and end up having amazing sex, and then she wants you to do it again? Maybe a nightie next time? Of course, the sissy was hoping to get that invite again and was buying her girlfriend panties for Christmas. Not sure how that turned out. Point is, when a window opens up, climb on in. I can't help but think a lot of sissies here would have been in their wife's panties, regardless of how hard they got.
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  1. more than a month ago
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PublicallyGirlish Accepted Answer Pending Moderation
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So an update, we talked. I mean that sounds like a throw away sentence but we really did. I don't want to keep secrets from her and she feels the same. She has fantasies and roleplays and fetishes she enjoys as well. We do those and she said looking back it had definitely felt like we had been doing hers the whole time. She felt bad when I brought up how it had made me feel to be rebuffed casually. So we talked and talked and talked. Hours of learning about the amazing woman she is and how together we can approach anything and solve it. Her fear her reluctance had been based on the idea of hurting me, either physically, emotionally or mentally. It makes sense as she hasn't ever really been a Domme for anyone before. So we are taking it slow No penetration and no Domme attitude yet. She bought me some lacy white panties which I've worn to work a few times. (which she enjoyed the power play aspect of.) I got neon pink leggings and some starter makeup kits as well from her as our sort of makeup apology (pun definately intended). We talked about healthier living for the both of us. I have been enjoying myself a bit more around her but yeah definately taking things slow which is good. Thank you all for your support and advice. She knows about this blog and about D-and-X and is encouraging me to post here as sort a relief valve. SO hopefully that means, I can post more often and more freely!
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  1. more than a month ago
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Kristabel32 Accepted Answer Pending Moderation
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I am so happy to hear about your success and the true beginning of your sissy life. I'm in much the same situation with my wife as you were. We started with the understanding that I occasionally wanted to cross dress and we occasionally did some role reversal fun, but since my daughter still cosleeps our sex life has pretty much died. Because of this I have been forcing myself not to ask about my need to go en femme. Over such a large time scale it has led to me getting up early to watch sissy hypno videos and then turning here as another avenue to release and get my feminine side some brain time. Ultimately it has led me to dress under my man clothes at work and I think it's getting unhealthy... Maybe it's time I stop suppressing and force myself to talk to my wife about it again. Although I am terrified by how much further down the rabbit hole I have fallen since the last time we talked about it.

Tl;dr: you're awesome, I'm jealous and need to emulate you and talk with my wife.

Love ya,
Kristabel
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Jennifer Grace69 Accepted Answer Pending Moderation
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There are loads of similar stories here. You are not alone. Please accept my friend invitation and feel free to reach out anytime...
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pantiejim Accepted Answer Pending Moderation
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hi steffie, you do have some baggage, as all of us had, or most of us.
I know it's not the same as alcohol/drug addiction, that sissy want stays part of us no matter how you feel or want it to just quietly disappear. trying to purge your desire and swear it all off works, for a while. your wife might benefit learning how this is almost normal behavior in humans. perhaps therapy from someone familiar with kinks like this could help unload some baggage and make you and your wife comfortable to find the right place. being unfulfilled, being unhappy, having to hide in shame and fear is not always a good life. honest discussion of problems is always a fine way to manage and hopefully conquer them.
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prairieFreak13 Accepted Answer Pending Moderation
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Great thread and comments!
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  1. more than a month ago
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PublicallyGirlish Accepted Answer Pending Moderation
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So an update went public on facebook. https://www.facebook.com/TheSmilingDM/posts/1295537743862003 had already talked to parents and wife is now on board most of it was miscommunication and a fear of hurting me.
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  1. more than a month ago
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